74) ...and other animals

Once again we have been visited by some weird and wonderful creatures.  Like this scary looking cricket (?) ................... whooa.

Crickets are supposed to look like this; green and delicate and Jiminy-like.

Talking of green, our little tree frog has turned up on the terrace a couple of times recently.....

....and a couple of copulating dragon flies dropped in on  us (rather inappropriately) while we were having lunch.

And our mild mannered lizard.......................

...................actually turns out to be a bit of a psycho.

But what on earth was this monster?  I found it (very disconcertingly) at eye level in one of the fruit trees.  It appeared to be sort of mummified, like something out of Pompeii.  Have there been any volcanic eruptions around here recently?

I thought I ought to check out the attics.  This is the tower above what used to be our bedroom.  Quite impressive, but absolutely zero insulation which probably accounts for why it was so ****ing cold last winter.

But in the other attic, above the soon-to-be-third-shower-room, there was the most enormous hornet's nest........ gulp.  Luckily it now appears to be very defunct, but even the thought is enough to cause palpitations and nightmares.

A rather more gentle creature was this adventurous butterfly that decided my lunch was actually some sort of delicious flower.  But I didn't really mind.  They don't buzzzzzz around annoyingly and, what's more important, they don't sting .

Our little red squirrel has been in evidence recently, looking for walnuts in our (this year) barren walnut tree.  I am rather worried that he may not have enough stocks to last him through the winter.  I did consider buying him (or her - hard to tell) some walnuts in the market, but they are horribly expensive.  This photo is actually someone else's as I haven't yet managed to get close enough for long enough.

Although we didn't have any walnuts or cherries this year, we did have grapes.  And we were looking forward to finding out whether they were eaters or wine grapes (though I don't really know how you tell). Then, one day, I noticed the whole lot had gone.  Stolen.  But by who(m) or what?  I suspect the "murder" of crows that hangs around in our field up to no good.

We do not have a single grape left, and yet those in the vineyards appear to be totally unaffected.  Why is this?  Why isn't the French wine making countryside swarming with overly fed crows and, come to that, WASPS?  Surely this is one of life's great mysteries.  Why don't these acres and acres (hectares and hectares) attract every bug in Christendom? And what is even more strange/annoying, why do they just pick on my particular grapes? Merde!

73) Bathroom number two

The family bathroom is what has been taking most of my time over the summer, and we had a deadline.  Granny and her 83 year old friend were coming to stay for a week and we felt that just one bathroom downstairs (however smart and luxurious) really wouldn't do - particularly with our still-somewhat-iffy-staircase.  Before the visit of our two octogenarians, though, I did tighten up all the screws on the stair treads (so they wobble a bit less), and I put up a more substantial stair rail, which is also continuous (unlike its predecessor which had a small gap in the middle, due to EVERYTHING in France being sold in 2.4 m lengths).

As usual, lots of (unnecessarily) large holes were knocked in the walls and the floors to take the (unnecessarily complicated) pipe work.  This picture shows the third shower room, which we will tackle after the heating upstairs has been completed (we have promised ourselves that we will not have a fourth winter when we are constantly chilled to the bone).  This is where all the pipes join up and descend through a (soon-to-be) cupboard in our dressing room, before passing through the basement and outside to our newly constructed fosse septique.

First the insulation was put on the walls.  Then the insulation was partially removed again so the plumber could run his pipes (there was somewhat of a discussion among the plumbers as to whether the pipes should go inside or outside the insulation).

Once all the insulation was in place, the battens (liteaux) were fixed, ready to take the plasterboard (placoplaitre).  Also the false floor was put in.  This was necessary in order to give sufficient fall to the out flow from the bath, bidet and shower.  Instead we could have had an outlet running  through our bedroom, but this would have meant an awkward boxing in of a corner and the possibility (likelihood) of (gurgling) noises.

With the basic structure of the walls in place, the plumbers put in the pipes and fixings for the showers, taps and so on.  And I made a box to for an alcove by the bath where you can put your glass of wine.

I am now becoming a bit of a dab hand at jointing plasterboard, but I must say, boxing in the beams was a bit of a challenge (note also the alcove in the shower, just in case you fancied a glass of wine in there too - we are in France after all).

Despite my detailed instructions and drawings on the wall, the plumber managed to not line up the shower tap with the hose outlet (albeit only slightly).  He also managed to put the tap unit in crooked (to the vertical), and the top tap was pointing to one side.  All of this would have built in problems for later on as well as making everything look askew.  I rang the boss and told him I was not impressed.

He then sent another plumber ("one of our best guys") to bash another hole in the wall so that it could be re-done correctly.  I slightly wondered why we had not had "one of their best guy"s all along.  And when I discovered that our normal plumber had also put the wrong tap on the bidet (the French ought to know about bidets for God's sake), I said to the boss man that, form now on, I only wanted the "one of our best guys".  By this time even he was, I think, beginning to realise rather too much was going wrong so he sent me a rather contrite email saying that in order to have a more "serene" ending to the chantier, he would use Jean Paul in future on our job.  Presumably the use of the word serene was something to do with a translation oddity, but I appreciated the sentiment.

Putting tiles up on the sloping ceiling required a certain amount of ingenuity (and caused a certain amount of amusement amongst the artisans).  They had, however, said it would not be possible, so I was determined to prove them wrong.

The tiles we have chosen for all three bathrooms seem to have been made from reconstituted diamonds, or possibly something even harder.  They are incredibly difficult to cut, and this is especially so when cutting holes in the middle of them for taps and so on.

Still, we managed it, and bit by bit things started to take shape.......................

I have become a great fan of "No More Nails", which in French is "Ni Clous".  Sticking the boarding on, again though, did involve a certain amount of creative thinking and ingenuity.

Now it's just about finished ......

and it' sooooooo nice to have a little luxury.......................

One unexpected problem was the incredibly BLACK grout.  It is matt black and absorbs 99.99% of all light falling on it.  As a consequence, it it very difficult to use as you simply can't see it.  Also, it is rather like the tiles being the only known substance on earth that is harder than diamonds, the grout is completely impervious to any known cleaning product.  The top picture is before cleaning.............................

.....................the bottom picture is after washing with soap, washing up liquid, shampoo, bubble bath......... perhaps I'll have to buy some gloves and wear them all the time, just like the Queen.

72) Summer's almost over, back to work

Actually I have been working pretty hard over the summer but, with all our visitors, there have been rather a lot of play days too.  As well as the young (see previous post), we've also had the older generation in an attempt not to appear too ageist (one 83 year old French friend who came round for a swim dived straight in the pool and did two lengths under water - I find that quite a challenge at 25 years younger).  The pool has, though, been a godsend during our (official) canicule even if some only want to dangle their feet whilst admiring our palm trees (see left of picture).

Pools aren't just about lazing around though, they do require a certain amount of work (albeit quite enjoyable).

Inevitably the heatwave did take its toll.  Various trees and hedge plants I had planted earlier this year just gave up the ghost (I never thought I would actually be planting Lelandii but, with such a mature existing hedge, it really is the only sensible way to extend it in our lifetime).

Our lawn went brown and our horse chestnut decided it was Autumn about the sixth of August (actually it is - work it out - mid summer's day 21 June, four equal seasons of three months, first day of Autumn about the 6th of August).

The terrace (which faces south) was just too hot at lunch time, but we found a partially shaded spot for the gazebo which worked well and (at the time of writing) it hasn't yet blown away.

In the summer the markets become more crowded, but they are still one of the great delights of being here.  And now we can even engage in a bit of light hearted banter with some of the stall holders whom we are getting to know quite well. 

Sooooo many cheeses, hand baked bread, patiseries, fresh vegetables ripened in the sun (rather than in nitrogen) and fruit with flavour, especially our local melons.  An easy way to have a simple but delicious lunch on the terrace with a demi Querbi and three cheeses including some Brillat-Savarin - what living in France is all about.

71) Welcome to Paradise

The pool is now fully "commissioned".  And it's wonderful. Landscaping will have to wait until next year, after the ground has settled, but we have had a temporary concrete (shap) surround put down on two sides so it can be used without traipsing mud in and out.

G is in it most of the time................

.........and with nieces, nephews, great nephews and great nieces staying it really came into its own.

Though I also managed to persuade the two boys to do a bit of mild mountaineering, exploring the woods and up on the the ridge (we found three lizards, some beautiful butterflies, lots of crickets and a fabulous view).

70) The making of a pool

Since my last post (rather a long time ago I'm afraid) the pool has made great progress and we are nearly pret a plonger.  I thought, therefore, I would give a blow by blow account of "the making of a pool...."

After the concrete base had been laid we had a torrential downpour.  The pool filled up with water (before it had any method of draining it) and the surrounding excavations turned into a claggy quagmire.

Undaunted our Portuguese macons turned up on time and got to work building the sides.

It didn't take long before it started looking a bit like a pool......

Then there was the  local technique to construct.  This is where all the equipment goes (pump, filter, valves etc).  We have designed this to be sous sol, firstly so it can't really be seen and secondly, so that any noise from the pump and so on is masked by its position under the earth.

Then (quite randomly) the chap turned up in a rather intriguingly rigged tractor to cut the grass in our field - a story for another time.

Once the walls were finished, the skimmers went in.

Next the walls were rendered to give a smooth finish.  I asked the (French) artisan if he was a platrier - plasterer).  Oh my goodness me no, he told me, he was a macon.  Plasterers work inside he said, trying hard not to make it too obvious he thought the client an imbecile.

In the midst of our chantier we saw this extraordinarily beautiful butterfly, which seemed to have been designed by Mary Quant.

Once the walls had been rendered (by the macon) they were capped off, ready for the margelles.

After quite a lot of discussion between the plumbers, the pool people, the electricians and the digger man it was finally resolved who would be doing what in terms of laying and connecting the cables and water pipes (this could easily merit a separate posting of its own).

With the digger back again (still, regretfully, without its key when it was left overnight) they got onto the job of landscaping the surrounding mud bath.

While all this was going on this most bizarre of creatures dropped in on us.  It looked like a leaf, but we think it was some sort of weird and wonderful moth (though we couldn't find anything quite like it on the internet).

With the basic landscaping completed, it begins to look like a real pool.

Following quickly on from the macons, the pool people started to be install the equipment in our underground bunker.

They then put the trim round the edge for the liner to be attached to.

On a wonderfully sunny day shortly afterwards, our two pool blokes turned up to fit the felt which goes under the liner (to soften the feel of the concrete render).

With the felt in place, the sable (sand coloured) liner was fitted directly after.

And then the water was turned on (with a rather clever ball cock device to switch it off once it got to the level they wanted for the next task - cutting the holes for the jets, the skimmers and the underwater light)

Today it got to 32 degrees and it seems set to continue.......

............but, for the moment all we can do is watch and wait as the water level rises slowly slowly....